UnleashYourAnger.com

Why does my computer have to tell me this with that huge annoying bubble in the lower right-hand corner every time it loses my wireless network and reconnects again??

I feel like I need to praise my computer when it does that.  Why, thanks, little fella'!!!  Keep up the great work!!  You're doin' just dandy!!!

It's like the 5 year old who goes to town on his construction paper with a box of crayons and then brings it home to show Mommy, so proud, so hoping that she'll find it worthy of the refrigerator door... 

So I'm driving home the other day, listening to WBZ's traffic on the 3's.  You know how they have "Joe Morgan and the BZ copter".  Well, apparently sometime in the last few weeks it changed to "Joe Morgan and the Commerce Insurance BZ copter."!!!!!  What, did Commerce Insurance build the helicopter?  Is that what we are supposed to believe?????

I've never been a fan of big corporations buying naming rights to things, but it's getting ridiculous.  Everything has some corporate sponsor now.  When they play a replay on TV it's the "Chevy Trucks" replay or something.  Lojak has their "Caught stealing" thing during red sox games (at least that one is clever).  

What's next? Are they going to start buying naming rights to every day objects? 

"Thank you for using this Microsoft™ toilet!  Have a nice day!" 

"This Traveler's Insurance™ parking meter requires 50 cents to proceed.  Have a nice day!"

In the shower?

"Warning: this E*Trade™ bar of Soap is nearly gone!!  Hurry out and buy more!!!"

"Welcome to your shower!  Don't forget to use your special Toyota™ faucet knob to turn on the shower!!  Come to our president's day sale!!!" 

Hell, how about naming rights to stores?

"Thanks for shopping at this  TD Banknorth™ Kmart!  Have a nice day!"

"Welcome to the Bank of America™ Apple Store!  Have a nice day!"

Most people would know better than to ask.  I think you learn it pretty early on in life - never ask a woman if she's pregnant.  That lesson apparently escaped my assistant.  I took a sick day from work, legitimately staying home with what would turn out to be the worst cold I've had in years.  I was working from my couch, however, and emailing back and forth with my assistant.  Suddenly, out of nowhere she emails "are u pregnant?"  For starters, let me preface this rant with the fact that I was not offended (truth be told, I really am pregnant though, at the time, I hadn't even told my family because it was so early on).  What astounded me and pisses me off is that she felt totally justified in asking!  Let's review the plethora of reasons why you don't ask this question:

--maybe I'm pregnant/maybe I'm not
--maybe I'm keeping it/maybe I'm not
--maybe it's my husband's/boyfriend's/maybe it's not
--maybe I've been trying and am not having luck
--maybe I just lost the baby
--maybe I'm barren and will never have children

 When I pointed out to her that it was an inappropriate question, she was basically like "I was just ready to congratulate you if you were."  Like it was no big deal because she had good intentions.  Let this be known to all who wonder about a co-worker - you are not allowed to ask regardless of your suspicions.  She will tell you when she's darn good and ready (usually waiting until she absolutely can't hide it from her employer anymore) and she sure as hell will not make her big announcement over the office email!!!  So keep your suspicions to yourself and your big mouth shut.

I've bottled these feelings up for many years but I think it's time to just let it all out: why hasn't someone invented a machine that automatically folds clothes yet???  We have automatic dishwashers, automatic clothes washers, automatic clothes dryers, but... no automatic clothes folders.

Folding laundry is probably my least favorite thing to do in the world.  It takes forever, it's completely boring, and I find it thoroughly unsatisfying.  And you have to do it everytime you wash something.  Which I do pretty often.  At least once a month.

How many of you out there have every found yourself living out of the dryer?  I know I'm not the only one.  You know what I mean.  The prospect of folding all those clean clothes is so daunting, that you just leave them all in the dryer, and go in there every morning to get whatever undewear and clothes you need.  The truth is, I'd rather live out of the dryer and walk around with wrinkled clothes than have to fold all of them.  The times when I actually do fold my laundry, I do only because I don't want people to think I'm homeless. I need all the help I can get.  But I hate every second of the folding ritual. To quote Weird Al, I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork... than spend one more minute folding laundry.

I feel a lot better now.  Thanks for letting me Unleash!!!!

One thing I've wanted to rant about for a long time is the change counter machine at McDonald's.  You know the one.  You hand the cashier your $20 bill, he types "20" into the register, and suddenly a little pile of coins comes tumbling down a little chute into a tray next to the register.  Nice and neat for you to pick up. All hail The Machine.  Never mind that the guy's still gotta give you your bills.

I am not sure if every McDonald's uses this but I've encountered it a number of times now, but each time I am still struck with a sense of bewilderment and amusement.  There is something comical about McDonald's mandating that cashiers must use The Machine to do their change counting.  The only reasons I can see for having this machine are 1) McDonald's corporation thinks their cashiers are too slow at counting out change, or 2) McDonald's corporation thinks their cashiers are too stupid to count out change.  Both of which seem like blunt insults to the poor cashiers, who could probably count out $0.99 in coins in their sleep.

It's bad enough that they have to send their day pretending to be happy about standing between a fryolator and a pile of Big Macs, but to hire a machine to do their change counting seems a little over the top.  I'm no Luddite but I think the world got by just fine before The Machine and I can't imagine it's bumping up McDonalds' bottom line even a bit.  If I worked there I think I'd count the change anyways, just to make sure the machine got it right.  I'm sure the customers would be happy with the human touch I'd bring to my job.