UnleashYourAnger.com

What's up with the restaurants who ask you to settle the tab at the bar? 

I am sure it's happened to you before.  Your table isn't ready, so they suggest you to the bar.  You don't want to crowd the entryway, so you politely go over and order yourself a beer.  Then the hostess calls your name, you are excited, your friends are excited, so you rush towards the hostess....then, of course, the bartender yells out, "you need to settle it at the bar!"

This is especially annoying when the hostess looks at you like your table is about to run away.  So, she gives you an uncomfortable ("I have others yelling at me for tables. Why aren't you ready, you idiot") look.  Then, she looks away from you (and your unfinished beer), looks at your friends who don't have drinks, then says, "Right this way."

Most of the time, the hostess would scurry away through the maze of tables, and your friends, now starving, chase her.  Of course, I am left behind with a half finished beer, handing a credit card over to the bar tender...who is helping someone else.

Can't the restaurant do something about this?  How difficult can this be to transfer the tab?  Are the bartenders worried that I may run away, and in fact the hostess was a fake one, and I was making my way towards the exit?

I am submitting another rant following up on my last message.  Here's another question that I hate when waiter or waitress asks as I sit down at the table. 

"Can I bring you a bottle of water? Do you prefer mineral or sparkling?"  - Whatever happened to plain TAP water?  Why must you ask me to order these 12 dollar bottles of crystal clean water that was shipped from the mountains of France or clear springs of Fiji?  I don't know what kind of "estate" that you were brought up in, but I like my tap water just fine. 

Have you considered how uncomfortable it is to respond, "No I think I will try your finest TAP water today...you know the one that comes out of your faucet.  Yes, I know it's the same water as what your dog drinks and we flush the toilets with, but I think it'll do wonders if you can serve it in one of your fancy glasses.  In fact...even better...can you pour your TAP <dramatic pause> water into a Fiji bottle, so Mr. Investment Banker at the next table doesn't mistaken me for a pot of fern?"

I can only assume that you are asking to make me look cheap in front of my friends.  ...sigh...  When did it become so hard to order water?  Isn't it supposed to be default? 

My point is...don't ask.   I will order the damn mineral water when I want to...perhaps after this lottery wins me my 200 million.

I would like to rant about how the host or waiter/waitress asks those stupid questions when they sit us down.  I never know what to say, and it just causes weird and awkward moments.  I can’t see any reason but to embarrass me with these.   Are they looking for some standard responses?  Are they rhetorical questions?

I would like to start off with one.  I have more, and I am sure others have more.

“Have you visited us before?”  - Weeeelllll..., maybe I have, and maybe I haven’t.  Is that any of your business?  Why does it matter?  Are you gonna treat me differently if I had been here...and were a repeat customer?  Are you going to go check the "blacklist"?

...or what is it?  Is ordering at this particular restaurant so difficult that I have to warn you if it’s my first time?  Do I need to go through training first? What is so special about your dishes or your custom that I may not be aware?

...or is this it?  Are you afraid that I may embarass you in front of your other customers? Is it because I look like the type who may order mayonnaise sandwich and Cheetos at your steakhouse?  Well, I might, but you don't have to shoot me down the moment I sit down.

The same goes with the “Are you familiar with our menu?”  Ahh…for one, you just gave me the menu.  Two, why do I have to *familiarize* myself with the menu?  I know what a menu is.  It's a list of food!!  That is why I came to a restaurant!!  Argh!!