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me, catholic whole life, yet for the past two years I actually started hxc believing all that I was praying about.
my boyfriend- jewish, and won't give me a straight answer if he believes in all that he prays.
I've heard my boyfriend say that he would never ever date a jewish girl. We have been dating for quite a while now.. he has never once gone to temple, he has never once prayed, us & his fam went to a hockey game for chanakuh, there are only two ways to realize he is jewish and that's by his necklace and that all the jew jokes are aimed towards him..so obviously I didn't think it was all that import to him
last night, it was totally quiet, I was giving him a massage, and he was just like hey, I'm raising my kids jewish.
WTF?! freggin pardon me? where the hell did that come from?
and just fyi religion carries through the mother, and I'm sure as hell not a jew, unless he can give me 100% proof that jesus is not the christ, and he can't. I feel like he won't even try to convince me either.. and therefore I feel he has no reason to believe otherwise. I feel like he doesn't even believe that he is waiting for a messiah, he just believes in the traiditions, and it's really quite annoying.
wutev the conversation continued and he was just like, well, there is no way that I'm converting. ever. end of story.
and I know to a normal person this would mean nothing. but for me.. I've been planning my wedding since the summer I turned 15, and that's because I found the church I was going to get married in. It's the church that my dad went to every sunday as a little boy with his grandfather before they went out fishing. It's where my twin sisters got baptized. It has tall ceilings, beautiful window paintings and the light from them is just perfect, dark wood pews, and hanging gold lanterns... and it's just perfect. It's my church. I have fantasized about getting married in that church so much, and since I started dating him my fantasy has changed, and now instead of focusing on everything else, I focus right on the altar where he is waiting for me, as I slowly walk down the isle with my dad..
and idk, his statement just crushed all my hopes and dreams, in one sentence. and he doesn't even realize what he's done.
so I guess this turned out to be more sad than angry...ohwell.
Readers have left 6 comments. 1. AceInThe Hole Actually, I do understand where you are coming from....wait, maybe I am not normal?
2. KillazMullas Little confused. is is that you are mad about the kids being raised jewish or you getting married in a temple?
3. Snitch Well, if he converted, he wouldn't be able to have fun with the jewish jokes. its' like that seinfeld episode, where the dentist (?) converts to judaism to make proper jokes. ...but opposite. 4. Sentry71 i think all girls and men who are already married totally understand when you mention the part about the wedding. my husband sure didnt care, because he didn't have a preference and he knew it was important to me. (but mostly because he didn't care. ![[smiley=laugh]](http://www.unleashyouranger.com/components/com_jreactions/custom/templates/simple/smileys/smiley_laugh.gif) ) 5. ShivanMe Pressure from family, maybe? something seems a little amiss
6. Phae As an Atheist Jew, I know exactly what your boyfriend is talking about, and you're simultaneously overreacting and not understanding a fundamental aspect of what it means to be Jewish.
Judaism IS its culture. It's about the community, it's about the commandments, it's about Shabbat with your family on the nights you actually remember and reciting the same lines every Passover. It is about passing on those traditions.
I doubt your boyfriend cares what kind of wedding he has, and very well might be 100% willing to get married in your church, but if you are that serious about him, you should recognize how important a Jewish family life is to even non-religious Jews.
You're lucky he ISN'T more religious, or his parents probably wouldn't let him date you. Since you're already dating, he and his family are clearly open-minded.
Hey, it worked out for my parents - why shouldn't it work out for you? ;D |
