HELLO ROOMMATE, YOU DRIVE ME INSANE.
A) I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER, I AM NOT YOUR PERSONAL THERAPIST, I AM NOT
YOUR KEEPER. I am (but may not be in the near future) YOUR FRIEND. I
will be here for you when you need me. I will be there to rejoice in
your triumphs and hug you during hard times. BUT ONLY IF YOU STOP
TREATING ME LIKE SHIT THE REST OF THE TIME.
B) I'm so fucking tired of your passive aggressiveness. If you want to bring something up with me (LIKE TURNING OFF THE HEATER) then just SAY IT. Don't patronize me and try to make ME feel stupid when you're the one who has a problem. FUCK I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT. What I hate even more is that you've driven me to make an anonymous confession because every time I try to talk to you, you either start crying or give me attitude!
C) When I asked you to clean your dishes that you had left in the sink FOR A WEEK, I made sure to be REALLY nice about it. And what did you respond with?: "YEAH WHEN I DON'T HAVE A MILLION THINGS TO DO. GOD." WELL FUCK YOU VERY MUCH. I DON'T KNOW HOW THE REST OF US PEONS MANAGE OUR DAILY LIVES AND CLEANLINESS. WE MUST NOT NEARLY BE AS BUSY AS YOU ARE. OR MAYBE WE'RE JUST FUCKING CONSIDERATE.
D) Stop copying my style. This may seem incredibly petty, but really. stop. You bought the same jacket, the same shoes, the same layered necklaces, the same pendants. STOP. I constantly feel like I have to come up with new ways to distinguish myself from you and be an individual. Do you know how annoying it gets when people look at what I'm wearing and then realize that you have it on too?! IT IS WEIRD.
E) When I buy our other friends presents, I do it because I want to make them happy. Don't ask why you didn't get one. ESPECIALLY when it for their BIRTHDAY.
F) Thanks for forgetting my birthday last year when I not only handmade your gift but also organized your surprise birthday party that I didn't even get to attend because I was flying across the country. Also, thanks for forgetting my birthday THIS year after I remembered yours again and sent you a package all the way from fucking australia.
G) when you go and buy a bunch of clothes, please do NOT put on a fashion show for me. I'm tired of conversations that go like this:
you: how do I look?
me: you look fine
you: fine? fine or good?
me: um...fine? I don't know what you want me to say
you: I just want you to clarify whether you mean fine or good
YOU LOOK GREAT ALRIGHT. FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC. JUST LET ME LEAVE.
Actually, while writing this rant, you know what I've realized? I should just not expect anything from you anymore. As much as I care for you and put up with your shit because you're one of the most insecure and dependent people I've ever met...you'll never be as good of a friend as I'd like you to be.
Oh, let's not forget the time you guilt-tripped me into telling you that you're my best friend.
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